Boos and Blankets: Tanner's First Haircut

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Tanner's First Haircut

Aunt Nat gave Tanner his first haircut tonight, and he did pretty well, thanks to the spray bottle she gave him (he sprayed Aunt Hootie the entire time and barely noticed Aunt Nat hacking away at his fauxhawk-mullet-rat tail). Handsome guy!

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Collected Words of the Day

Boo (n.): A baby. Usage: "The twins are the cutest boos ever!"
Freshie (n.): A clean diaper or a baby. Usage: "Hi, freshies. Who needs a freshie?"
Beastie (n.): A baby (usually female) who is threatening to wake up and stay up all night long. Usage: "Oh, great. The beastie is starting to stir."
Wide (adj.): When a baby is completely awake and shows no signs of falling asleep. Usage: "Is he still awake?" "Wide."
Slits (adj.): When a baby is almost completely asleep but is keeping at least one eye open a crack, as if not wanting to give in to sleep, not wanting to miss a thing. Usage: "Is she still awake?" "Slits."
Fluffernutter (n.): A baby with clean, fluffy hair. Usage: "Who's a little fluffernutter fresh out of the bath?" Variant: Fluffer. Fluff.
Preshie (n.): A precious baby. Usage: "Who's my little preshie?"
The Shake-Off (n.): When a baby refuses a pacifier by keeping her mouth open and just shaking her head around it, as if taunting us that she is about to take it and settle down but then doesn't (we think it's Jane's version of back talk). Usage: "She's giving me The Shake-Off, but dammit, I'll get her to take this paci if it's the last thing I do."
Breast head (n.): Similar to bed head, the state of a baby's hair on the side of his head after breastfeeding (usually messy and sticking up). Usage: "Check out Tanner's breast head!"
Licky (n.): A baby who constantly licks his lips, usually after something (a medicine syringe, a paci, a bottle) has been in his mouth or after emerging from the bath. Usage: "Are you being a licky after having some Maalox?"
Lollipop (v.): To let a pacifier dangle out of the mouth before sucking it back in. Sometimes the pacifier falls completely out of the mouth, in which case the baby pretends she meant to do that and then cries a half second later for the pacifier. Usage: "Please, Jane, please -- lollipop for us!" Variant: Lolli.
Fists (adj.): When a baby clenches his or her fists (as perhaps a sign of tension), usually when feeding or bathing. Usage: "Tanner was all fists during the morning feeding today. Actually, he's all fists during every feeding, at least at the beginning."
ABM/ABD (n.): Stands for "anything but Mom" and "anything but Dad." When a baby chooses to look at anything but a parent, refusing to make any eye contact and acting as if his/her head is on a swivel. Usually during a burping. Usage: "Jane, what are you looking at?" "ABM."
Little Hoo (n.): Stands for "Little Houdini." The nickname for a baby when he or she manages to get out of the tightest swaddle ever (including the Miracle Blanket) and then usually sports a self-satisfied grin with pride. Usage: "Well, good morning, Little Hoo. Did you get out of your swaddle again?"
Rump roast (n.): A baby who curls up in his crib with his rump all rounded and soft from a huge overnight diaper, a fleece sleeper, and a sleep sack. Usage: "Tanner is being a total rump roast in his crib right now." Variant: Rumper. Roaster.
Tiny (n.): A baby, often premature, who is incredibly small at birth. Usage: "Remember when you guys were tinies and we could carry you both at the same time?"
Cleave (n.): A baby who is showing what could be his cleavage if he were an older female or just fatter as he army-crawls around the room and his shirt's neckline gets pulled down lower and lower. Usage: "Hi, Cleave. Are you enjoying the breeze on your chest?"

Boos and Blankets

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Tanner's First Haircut

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